praying for drought

In October 2019, I shared the first and last stanzas from “praying for drought”.  It was published this year in the Heron Clan VIII anthology and I’d like to share the whole poem:

praying for drought 

I don’t think god cared I kept my absent parent fears locked
inside my diary
hidden in my closet, because
god didn’t speak up
and rain came
most every afternoon
it tried to drown my ivy

I don’t remember when the rain started
was there thunder
lightning
hail?  I didn’t know I could pray for drought
I didn’t really know how to pray
how to shield my juvenile leaves
keep my baby roots from water suffocation

so I rooted
my nodes
beside my bed
most every night
asked god to stop that rain

my light ignored
my soil
compost
my drainage not enough and
why did it still rain most every afternoon?

I tried to get close to god
tried to crawl inside the god mind
I wanted to know
why there was no deliverance from this rain
and why did my leaves wilt
why did my roots still
inhale all that water?

I imagined if my words were perfect
I could tear my page from my locked diary
but my lobes tangled to protect my mats in one
collect the runoff in the other
my pages yellowed
curled
faded until my words fell off

so, I built my nest in the drizzle
my stems grew more ivy
tendrils invaded my wall
rain couldn’t quench my thirst
it knew I wouldn’t open my mouth

I don’t remember when
the rain
stopped
I don’t want to remember
the rain

© 2021
Cindy B. Stevens

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